Grieving Notes

By Linda Vigil

Surviving a loved one's suicide brings up many hours of searching your soul for answers. We all endure many losses through our lives. All kinds of losses, whether it be parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, spouses, grandparents, friends, and even our dear pets.

The word 'Acceptance' or 'Accept,' has continually come to me, causing me to spend many hours searching my soul for the meaning, regarding my daughter —Mia's suicide.
The definition of the words being —to take what is offered or given, to receive willingly, to believe in, to understand, —as having a certain meaning.

I have listened so carefully to the special people who have shared their pain in losing a loved one to suicide. Trying to hear how each and everyone of them learn to accept, are forced to accept, the tragic act of suicide thrust upon them.

Some of us are of the belief, when losing someone to suicide, "It was meant to be." Some believe, "God gives life, God taketh away." "Some believe each of us has a destiny." Others believe "Suicide is a tragic, senseless death." Each of us take out of our own loss, meaning any loss in death or family alienation, hopefully some meaning, some gift for us to not only survive but help others to share and heal.

A survivor shared, "We are all survivors of a loved ones suicide, or any personal loss, by death or alienation —that we have in common, but we are also like the snow flakes, all so unique and different even in our own beliefs."

We do learn to laugh again, plan for our future, re-enter our social circles or develop new friends, become more active in our communities. We learn there is little room for anger, and antagonistic behavior!

But the scar left within each of us is a reminder. That is what makes Sharing & Healing possible.

..... We Are Forever Changed .....